It Happened on a Bus One Day...

This is a comic script recounting an incident I witnessed on the bus this morning. It smacked of the sort of inter-personal battles those of us with geek tendencies face. Just for the record though, I wasn't the "man" in this scenario, I was sitting on the side seats so I had a pretty good view of the whole thing. Also, this is still a WIP, and I will keep updating it as I can. I think I will try and draw it too, at only three pages, it seems feasible.

Semi-Autobiography

Page 1:
Page 1 is arranged in three equal tiers. Frames 1&2 are in the top tier. Frame 1 is a quarter page wide, Frame 2 is three-quarters wide. the second tier, Frames 3&4, reverses this: Frame 3 is three-quarters wide and Frame 4 is a quarter wide. Frame 5 takes up the entire bottom tier.

Frame 1:
Close-up on man sitting in back of the bus.
Caption: "I wonder why this isn't a classic? It's a great book."
A slightly out of shape man with a goatee and dressed in a black hoody and dark gray slacks slouches in the back row of the bus, all the way in the corner. He is reading a cheap, aged paperback science-fiction book, Starship.

Frame 2:
Medium shot looking towards the back of the bus, it's getting crowded, but the back row has only tow occupants, each sitting all the way in the corners.
An attractive blond young woman in green scrubs and a light blue polar fleece jacket is approaching the back seat. She has a small Timbuktu style bag over her shoulder and a coffee in the other hand.
Caption: "It's got all the classic elements, but I've never met anyone else who's read it."

Frame 3:
Same shot as Frame 2. The woman is in the process of sitting down, but spills the coffee. The coffee arcs across the seat heading towards the man in the corner. The woman has a look of surprise on her face as the coffee falls. The man is so into the book that he doesn't realize what is happening.
Caption: "I should add this book to my blog, let other people know about it"

Frame 4:
Extreme close-up of the woman, showing the shock on her face.
Caption: "Hmm, should I add it to myspace, or the swamp?"

Frame 5:
Close up showing man and woman, along with the bus seat. The bus seat is covered in coffee, some of it is on the man's left hand, and partially on his book. He has a look of shock and disgust on his face, and isn't looking at the woman but at his hands and the book. The woman is looking at him and speaking.
Woman 1: I am so sorry!
Woman 2: Are you alright?
Woman 3: I am SO sorry!
Caption: "What the hell, she spilled on me!"

Page 2:

Frame 1:
Close up, same as Frame 5, Page 1.
Man: Hmmph. <<Better sound of frustrated acceptance, like, "I know what you just did and I don't like it, but I can't do anything about it now."?>>
Woman: I guess it wasn't hot any more?
Caption: "What do I say to a girl like THAT"

Frame 2:
Close up, showing just he man's and the woman's faces.
The man is facing the woman now.
Man: That's why they don't allow food and drink on the bus. (The look on his face should be somewhere between deer in the headlights, and you've ruined my precious book you stupid cow)
Caption: "I can't believe she spilled on me!"

Frame 3:
The man and woman are both looking straight ahead, with an empty seat between them. There is an uncomfortable tension between them right now.
Caption: "That could've gone better."

Frame 4: